A better friend...

today i will try to voice what i'm feeling, but i may fail because i'm not as eloquent as the words you write and that is ok...but i will try...

i feel i need to reach out because you don't really understand and probably feel a little confused - and possibly a little more alone because of it.

it's not because we are far apart.
it's not because we lead different lives.
it's not because we made different choices.
it's not because i don't understand where you are.
it's not because i don't understand where you are going.
it's not because i don't love you anymore.

it's because i once felt like i was always the one to reach out without a return.
it's because i once felt like we were in a silent war - always competing for the same attention.
it's because i once felt it was conditional to be your friend...
it's because even though we are much alike, we still differ in many ways...
it's because sometimes there are no reasons - life just happens - and i just don't know why. i just don't know why.

but today i decided to voice what i was feeling - so its out there and can float away...

...so maybe we can meet on the dock for the first time, and be surprised to meet someone so much like each other - so different from each other - so amazing...

today i decided that we've grown up.

today i decided that all the reasons above no longer matter to me.
today i decided that i still love you ...and today i decided that i will try harder to be a better friend to you.